Today i had a "Bad Mood" evening!!

Bad Mood: You don't feel like talking, you got irritated easily, negative aura surrounded few inch of your entire body, feeling uneasy, unsettle, uncertain, insecure & Body will react negatively or passively to the surrounding and more .. you name it!!

**I experienced that feelings today and i feel as if there are one small tiny dot of darkness in my chest that slowly,  struggling hard to shrink and shrinking ... and it caused me pain on my chest when i tried to fight over it**

have any one of you experienced such situation before? ~ I terribly dislike that moment because its effect my way of perceiving  things, effect my emotions and it ruins my entire mood!! ( When that moment come i a thinking of soaking myself under the water and hold my breath for few second hoping to recover back from that unwanted feelings )

There are two sides to every coin ...

There are Yin for every Yang ...

There are Pro and there are Cons .. 

There are darkness and there are Lights in life ... 

There are always two possibility to everything and same goes to the feelings ...while goggling on the word "Feelings" this article attract me ... 

http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/01/08/8-things-to-remember-when-everything-goes-wrong/

Talking about Darkness & Light ... here are some quotes i would like to share:-

“There is darkness inside all of us, though mine is more dangerous than most. Still, we all have it—that part of our soul that is irreparably damaged by the very trials and tribulations of life. We are what we are because of it, or perhaps in spite of it. Some use
it as a shield to hide behind, others as an excuse to do unconscionable things. But, truly, the darkness is simply a piece of the whole, neither good nor evil unless you make it so. It
took a witch, a war, and a voodoo queen to teach me that.” 
― Jenna Maclaine, Bound By Sin

“There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.” ~ Bra Stoker, Dracula

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” 

― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

In every darkness, there’s a light. In every struggle, there’s a way. In every faith, there’s a hope.

I Imagine myself to be like this picture

P/S: ** Feeling Ridiculous **

~m3@~

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I feel so GOOD after church today. 

Good: Happy, alive, grateful, lively, sociable, positive, valued ... every positives feelings is in me now!! Why wouldn't i when i have the opportunity to talk, to hug, to laugh, to gives opinion, sharing with the others church members ~ which makes me feel like Home. (What a wonderful parish) .. okay skip it !!

Today all the Catholics are celebrating the feast of "Our Lady Of Lourdes". Wanna know ore about Lourdes story and why it is celebrated in the church ...here's the link  to it.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Lourdes#Lourdes_water

For me personally, whatever celebration in the church took place, i would not missed it if possible. If you ask me why? i would tell you one answers .. because that is what i want!! I am not Holy but i am spiritually driven (Not all those who come to the church are H.O.L.Y or G.O.O.D .. nobody is perfect ~ want to know if you are good enough/perfect? Try walking on waters!! ) .. yeah i admitted anyway.. i am not Holy and i am not good enough but church is where i find PEACE and LOVE!! ~ i refer the statement to St. Micheal church Specifically because i truly experienced love, confident & relationship in here!!  

To make the story short, during the light refreshment after the mass, happen to talk to few church members ... exchanging opinion, exchanging praises, exchanging good positives words.. on of the church members asked me:

He : Are you a Writer?

Me : No!! you read my blog? Oooo its full of grammatical error!!

He : Doesn't matter!!  You highlighted the important thing in your blog..

Me : Owh Thank You!!

 **I feel appreciated** 

***Conversation continue with different topic****

Now i was thinking ... May be i am not a writer yet but if i keep practicing my writing and discover which areas of writing that i am good with, i might become a true writer some day!! May be a motivational writer ?? who knows?? ~Nothing is impossible anyway!!

Everyone have their own strength in life. Each one of us in this world, have the ability to be positive and motivated. But the Big Question is How To be positive and how to stay positive?  ~ I tell you .. do small positive act each day and the Big positive will come uninvited to your life. What do i mean by small positive act? well try this ... SMILE to strangers and to the people around you!! that's the most basic positive act that will slowly transform how you reacted to the surrounding. And more importantly :~ Think Positive and Positive thing will happens!!

~Learn from Gandhi~

~m3@~

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Menstruation  and Woman

Today my post will be a bit more about live, health & woman sharing. I am a woman and i think sharing things about "menstruation" / "Menstrual Period" is a normal thing and nothing to be ashamed with. Every woman will eventually experienced it in their life to show that they are stepping to the level of physical maturity. ( There are other sign of physical maturity ... but i am stressing about menstruation now).

Why did i choose this topic? That is a good question ... to tell you a story my this month "period" is the worst one. It caused me a very bad headache, back pain, sore breasts and instability in emotions :~ this situation makes my day at the office unproductive & bearing the aching pain on my stomach, back and other part of my body. (Talking about instability in emotion ... i always used this period pain as a reason to have a fight with my boyfriend a.k.a ex~BF previously and when i recalled back it was funny because man doesn't know how much a woman suffer from a menstruation pain). No wonder weeks before i am craving so much of junk food and eats a lot ... well Menstruation is about hormone changing anyway!! 

Of course this is not my first time having this pain ... i am physically matured at the age of thirteen turn to fourteen ~ Secondary school. I am so worried and scared because i know at the age of fourteen it's too late to have a period since my other girl friends had it earlier. Moreover, my Science teacher used to tell us about the normal age for a girl to have their first period ... but i guess to finally had my first period at the age of fourteen is not abnormal isn't it? Since then i learn about menstrual monthly cycle as to prepared myself from any humiliation. Humiliation from what? of course from having the stain of blood sticking on my school uniform. (hehehe). 

Another humiliation is the moment to shop for the "pads". I remember when i am filled with shyness even buying those pads for my mum ... whats more for my own!! "Its for my mum, my mum asked me to buy this ..." even told the shop owner about it!! and what worst ... asked the shop to wrap the pads with newspaper to prevent from people's attention ??? hahaha. what a memory. When i recalled it back now, as i am old enough to think of this kind of humiliation ... i wonder why most of woman in my hometown (Specifically) during my young age are ashamed or shy about shopping for pads. Nowadays, i find it normal in life as a woman. I even can jokes about it with man!! especially those male friend who bother to be very busybody...haha. 

Back from shop ..

Male friend: "What did you buy?"

Me: " Bread..Do you want some?"

Male Friend: "What bread .. i want.."

Me: "Owh Good Bread ... This Bread..you still want it?" Showing him the pads... 

Both : Burst out laughing!!

I started having menstrual periods pain at the age of twenty ~ Pre-Univeristy life!! which the pain come and go without much to think of ... but as i aged its become more and more worst. Sometimes i need to have a full rest at home and escape work when i am having my first day period every month...that's when i started to goggle and learn about Menstrual pain and its remedies ... here are some link about it...

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003150.htm  about the consideration, causes and home care for painful menstrual periods. 

http://www.webmd.com/women/menstrual-cramps Another link of the symptoms, causes , ways to relieve , menstrual cramp.

Even at times i would have babbling about "Period", "buying pads" & "changing pads" but  being a Woman is wonderful isn't it? Regardless of all the problem woman are facing .. Woman still live life beautifully and still the center of attraction to Man!!

P/s: I am Grateful to be a woman

#Blogging while having a slight Stomach Cramp!!**

~m3@~

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Back from the Church, i cant wait to return home, turn on my laptop, sitting in front of it and start writing /sharing information about Father Mark Formation Talk. It was a beautiful and mind working session... but what happens was, i lacked of writing idea's and ended up saving the post in my draft box. Here i am again trying my best, continue writing & editing what is necessary. Before jumping to what the Formation all about, let me introduce you to Father Mark...

This is Father Mark!! He is a young, good looking priest serving In St. Micheal Alor Setar Church. I never really have any direct communication with him yet. Most Of the time, i shared or whined things to Father Marshall the Parish priest. Normally, Father Mark ways of giving homily is relating the gospel reading with the real life situation and most of the time concerned more on personal development topic. (Well, Personal development is a general topic and i am slowly learning on it ... one of my way to really live with everyday personal growth / development is with doing a personal writing analysis based on PRH method ...http://www.prhaustralia.com/#!publications/c1zmy ... Writing it really help!!)

Now that you know Father Mark, lets jump to the Formation content that He highlighted in the session:- (**Note that this post consist of  Religion teaching since i am sharing about Life Reflection Topic in a Catholic way)

My Role & My Vocation:-

Being a Catechism teacher, teacher need to be clear about their role & life Vocation. It is because, what they plant today is what they harvest later. Whatever teaching they taught in class, act / values that they shown to the children, they will imitate & copy paste it into their life. 

"The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny. ~James Allen~"

Having a role as a catechism Teacher is a very important task!! Fr. Mark highlighted Three things to shows if the teacher are  really into the Vocation:- 

1. Be willing to learn:- Have the continuous spirit to learn about God, to talk about god as a mystery. in fact we are learning everyday.

2. Love for the Children:- Love them as you love your own child. Children want to see a happy teacher. Show them love and appreciation & they will do the same to others.

3. Have an experience of God:- Most people "Know About God" and only few "Know God"... start asking question about what is your personal experience of God? Learn to do reflection & Discernment.

All teachers are paying attention to Fr. Mark session. Partner Sharing, Video showing & songs are the tools that being used during the session. Based on the video & Song , Teachers required to write and do some reflection based on 5 question given.. (Well will share to you what are the questions right after this)...Fr. Mark said, we need to ask those 5 question in our daily life in order to learn and grow...Learning process differ between ages, as an adult, we tend to learn on things that has something to do with our life ... things that interest us and effected our life!! 

Before i share on the five essential questions of Learning & Growing, let me share about the Technic of sharing during the session. The Sharing Principals itself totally not much different with PRH concept where, it is advisable to only share what had been written and listen attentively when others are sharing. (This is a very good way of practicing good listening skills). Here are the example of the questions given during sharing  activities:- 

* Write down one particular experience of God in your life. (Share it to your partner)
*In the sharing, what did you know about God? (From your Partner sharing)
* What did you discover about yourself? (From your sharing)
**This is also a way of doing reflection in our daily life**
Pictures of Sharing activities;-

"The delights of self-discovery are always available."~Gail Sheehy~

5 Essential Question of Learning & Growing (For Adult)

a) What new thing did i/you learn?

b) What did i find interesting?

c) How is it relevant to life?

d) How is it relevant to ...(What you are doing now? eg. Catechetics) 

e) What i didn't understand?

**Try asking and answering these questions in your daily life and you will see how much you progress and growing each day** 

2 Peter 3:18
but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. 

~m3@~

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Today I need to attend a Formation talk with Fr. Mark ~ for 'Catechism teacher' so i am surprise that i wake up quiet early, have my bath and thinking of sharing something in here. I am teaching Catechism Class every Friday Morning for one and a half hours. And every time Friday is coming i am so excited ... to the level that i will wake up early like today. There might be two possibilities .. either :- I am passionate with kids and i want them to have a different point of view about life or i am merely become a responsible person in my life. Well ... may be it can be both!! i am moved by being responsible and want to show a better values with children. Whitney Houston song ... the best way how to express my intention with children:- 

                                             "Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if, by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Indeed ... Children are our future. We teach them well with "Love" they will give the "Love" back to the world. And because i am dissatisfied with not receiving much "love" during my childhood time, i feel that working with children will compensate the "need" of Love, the need of freedom and the need of doing things creatively without being judge, the need of happiness... children are innocent full of curiosity and i wanna learn together with them about positives values in a positive environment!!

Check my Childhood experiences in http://mearinna2.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-life-stories-past-tense.html ... and you will know how badly i want to help these children!!

Collection of pictures with my students: -

 
Children: Sometimes they listen sometimes they don't..when they listen means they are interested and having fun in class but when the other way round happens, teacher need to change their way of teaching!!

P/s: Do you think my intention of teaching the children is a way of dealing with my "unfulfilled" needs during my childhood past? It can be!!

~m3@~

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There will always a first time to everything...
First Love...
First Kiss...
First Job ...
First Car...
First House ...
First Decision ....

Without that "First Time" , there will never a "Next Time"!! To have that First time in life, we need to be courageous, motivated and dare to take any opportunities that given to us. 

For me, today is my "First time" holding a microphone giving an hour talk in front of a small crowd of people. Well done to me!! i cant wait for the "next opportunity" of doing the same thing again. I never really been given any opportunities of talking in a crowd before and if i happen to have that opportunity, i tend to say "NO" ... "No, i am not qualified for that" "No, i am not ready" "No, other people is better" ... come on!! what a pathetic me (Before). It really shows my lack of confident level, low self esteem, excessive timidity, and scared of making mistake, afraid of people perception on me and that's when the word "NO" comes out from the tip of my mouth. (I tell you...there are more people acting the way i do!! i know it!!)

Now, i am glad that i am no longer being that "Girl" ... Today the new Me is more courageous, More cheerful, more brave, More adventurous, more confident, having more faith in herself, Value life more, and importantly more and more bright & positives. ~People learn from the past~

**One thing that make me worry now is the more cheerful & positive i become, the more positive my views on Obesity** My crave for Junk Food is high & i am aware that exercising once a week is impossible to achieve my Ideal Weight!! OMG!!

 ...so here my pictures of knowledge sharing with a little audience. 

The moment i stand in front of them i assume they know nothing about the topic that i am going to share. That assumption makes me share more openly and talk more confidently. I dont care much on 'their' perception on me but i focus myself more on the subject that i am going to share and one thing i realize, i bring the group to show participation by asking them a bonus / simple question.

Doesn't matter if the question is too easy for them to answers, importantly they shows interest and participation on what i talk. i like it when they laugh or even make some noises. it shows they are not boring with me.,. if the room is too silence, i will call someone names or point anyone from the group to give response!!

So i am happy for my achievement today and i look forward the next "knowledge sharing" again.. How i wish to have the courage like these people ....

http://www.biography.com/people/oprah-winfrey-9534419...Oprah Winfrey my fav. Talk Show Host.

http://youtu.be/jCiBQu1TAgY?list=PLhcLsDbLQCeq5t7Zsn6JxCKNu4NKn3qh3 Another speaker that inspired me ...

http://youtu.be/Lp7E973zozc My Favourite Motivational Speaker Mel Robbins 

Mel Robbins Video sharing is the best and very inspiring ... I want to have her sense of humor and her idea's of motivating & touches other people life's. 

" How are you? FINE?  the thing that you want, you fine to not have it!!" ~Stop saying Fine~

" You are not Fine, You're Fantastic ... you have life changing ideas for a reason"

"All day long you have idea that can change your life, that can change the world, that can change the way you feel" 

Enjoy Watching the video people...

Till then

~m3@~

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Hey People !! 

Today is Feb 1st 2015... time traveled so fast i believe!

Since i am sticking too much on Facebook, Watts app & We-chat... All these applications just vanishing my intention & creativity in blogging. Well, who wont? sharing on Facebook is Fun, Having more than one group in whats app & keep updating We-chat Status was a busy tasks!! I just realized that i kept my blog untouched since years ago!! Can this be "still" called as a Blog? Abandon Blog perhaps?? ~Teeth Grinning~

Closing your eyes, Listening to Spiritual Song/music, looks for a space of freedom & peace from deep inside your core of being is totally a powerful way to be in present time!! i always imagine myself being in such moment at least twice a week. ( Imagination beyond reality ). What i really do is moving my ten fingers to the word tab in front of me, typing while listening to the sound of peaceful spiritual music!! I sense of peaceful moment & relaxing feelings. 

A friend of mine asked me one "Important yet unpredictable" question of what is my real purposes & goal in blogging...it took me a while to think & finally comes out with this immature answers ...

["well, i don't really have main goal in blogging...i do it only to spend my free time & to fulfill my desire of writing..."] 

**The reply was funny ...***

["Why don't you write a diary?"] *******(@_@) seriously..hahaha..

LOL!! i have a book that i used as a diary and i carry it since two years ago...unfortunately i always skip on writing on it just like what i did with this blog of mine!! ... up until now the book not even half written yet. I really hope my 2015 can be more & more on sharing things in my blog.

P/s: Life's like that ...

Till then for my first entry in 2015.

~Konbanwa @ Good night @ wan an

CHEERS!!

~M3@~

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