2
Am I Still In Love With Him..?? God Help
Posted by Mea L. Antaim
on
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
in
**EMOTION**
Dear blog, Today 17th Mei 2011 fall on public Holiday, that is for giving space to Indian people celebrating Wesak day....coincidentally, today is also one of an important date for me to remember since 8 years backward...and how come i can easily vanished today on my diaries each year?? I mean i used to highlight each 17th Mei each years since 2004....its a habit and i am doing it on purpose ... so that i will never neglect today from my set of thinking/mind haha....and lucky for my ex Boyfriend ... yeah!! He should be pround to have an Ex”esss that still obssess to remember his birthday. And Guys .... do you think he is lucky or i am a fool for doing so..??
What a mess in me...u know i had been preparing a birthday card (done it with my own creativity) in hope that i can hand it to him by today but what i get now is just a grief and dismay..?? i don’t know but i am eager to hand him that birthday card over but scared and afraid of rejection inside me preventing me from doing so. I eventually ending up keeping this card as one of my collection and memory. (I am a Fool Again...don’t you agree??) At the same time, my heart and my mind couldn’t keep Him out from my thinking since 2 days ago...decided whether to send him a great birthday wish via SMS but a part of me saying that “are u insane...do u want him to think that u r chasing him..?? wouldn't u mind if he called u a fool..?? this is my clear side of so called “PRIDE@EGO” that preventing me from doing so..?? i don’t know. But then, you want to know the story...?? i ended up to keep on struggling to be the last person to wish him. (i am not sure if i m the last but i remember sending him the birthday text at 21:00pm) another fool story again right .... But Isn’t it good enough for me to do so than stand for my first option to just text him tomorrow for a belated wish and pretending that i am totally forget about his birthday? I am dying for doing so u know.
Owh Gosh!! What a bewildered day for me today. Thanks to the “little” part of me that pushing me not to be so “EGO” this time. I hope he is happy and full of smile when receiving my text. One thing makes me wonder and keep wondering....”AM I STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM..??” owh GOD...Help me.
This is the detail of the text i send and i receive back ...
A: Hi...u r step-in another stair this year ...i wanna wish u Happy Birthday 27th. Keep Smiling, keep Moving, Keep fighting and owez keep In touch. Happy Birthday Henry ... (Hope i m d last person to wish u this) hehehe...Mea.
B:Hi there dear friend Mea. I thank you for that wish. I appreciate it very much. I wish u all the best of lucks in whatever u do in your life. Hey don;t give up mea (^_^).
A: I won’t and nvr will give up that easily since i m a bleesed child and a strong woman. Hahaha.dun worry. U too Keep Fighting in life and nvr give up. Cheers to you. Yay!!
B:: ..... I(no more replies...)
I hate it when i became weak by a simple and clear msg like that. I can't stop from letting my heart ache and my eyes dropping a tears and keep saying “keep moving mea .... he is nothing, he is just an old friend of yours” ... (only to persuade myself to not thinking much on him). This gonna be the last text i m sending him this year. (^_^) I need to be strong and cheers for still having GOD to take care of me and to LOVE me tenderly. Still.......
*******HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY*******
|
What a mess in me...u know i had been preparing a birthday card (done it with my own creativity) in hope that i can hand it to him by today but what i get now is just a grief and dismay..?? i don’t know but i am eager to hand him that birthday card over but scared and afraid of rejection inside me preventing me from doing so. I eventually ending up keeping this card as one of my collection and memory. (I am a Fool Again...don’t you agree??) At the same time, my heart and my mind couldn’t keep Him out from my thinking since 2 days ago...decided whether to send him a great birthday wish via SMS but a part of me saying that “are u insane...do u want him to think that u r chasing him..?? wouldn't u mind if he called u a fool..?? this is my clear side of so called “PRIDE@EGO” that preventing me from doing so..?? i don’t know. But then, you want to know the story...?? i ended up to keep on struggling to be the last person to wish him. (i am not sure if i m the last but i remember sending him the birthday text at 21:00pm) another fool story again right .... But Isn’t it good enough for me to do so than stand for my first option to just text him tomorrow for a belated wish and pretending that i am totally forget about his birthday? I am dying for doing so u know.
Owh Gosh!! What a bewildered day for me today. Thanks to the “little” part of me that pushing me not to be so “EGO” this time. I hope he is happy and full of smile when receiving my text. One thing makes me wonder and keep wondering....”AM I STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM..??” owh GOD...Help me.
This is the detail of the text i send and i receive back ...
A: Hi...u r step-in another stair this year ...i wanna wish u Happy Birthday 27th. Keep Smiling, keep Moving, Keep fighting and owez keep In touch. Happy Birthday Henry ... (Hope i m d last person to wish u this) hehehe...Mea.
B:Hi there dear friend Mea. I thank you for that wish. I appreciate it very much. I wish u all the best of lucks in whatever u do in your life. Hey don;t give up mea (^_^).
A: I won’t and nvr will give up that easily since i m a bleesed child and a strong woman. Hahaha.dun worry. U too Keep Fighting in life and nvr give up. Cheers to you. Yay!!
B:: ..... I(no more replies...)
I hate it when i became weak by a simple and clear msg like that. I can't stop from letting my heart ache and my eyes dropping a tears and keep saying “keep moving mea .... he is nothing, he is just an old friend of yours” ... (only to persuade myself to not thinking much on him). This gonna be the last text i m sending him this year. (^_^) I need to be strong and cheers for still having GOD to take care of me and to LOVE me tenderly. Still.......
*******HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY*******
|
